The Roommate Question
Bad roommates are a rite of passage. Like scraping your knee while learning to ride a bike and moving your tassel from right to left, we have all endured living with someone who makes you scream into your pillow:
“She came in plastered at 3 a.m. five days a week.”
“I arrived home from a weekend away to four days of takeout stuck to the counter.”
“His friends lounged on MY couch, eating MY food and watching MY TV all day long.”
But, we’ve all had good roommate experiences too:
The stranger who became a confidant.
The best friend who became closer than a sister.
The acquaintance who became your best man.
So when you get to that place where college is in your rearview but settled-down, legitimate, buy-a-place-get-married-have-a-kid adulthood is still far beyond your line of sight – where you make enough to live on your own but aren’t sure you want to be alone all the time in a new city – the question to roommate or not to roommate becomes a bit more complicated.
Here’s our guide to making that decision.
Money
The most important factor. Living by yourself affords you some luxuries, but they come at a price. Even if you can afford a place to yourself, a roommate typically saves you several hundred dollars a month, and that extra $300 or so sure is tempting, especially if you’re saving for something or there is a chance your other expenses could increase.
Consider all of your bills and future goals diligently when deciding what you can afford.
Space
Questions of space (and questions of rommates, for that matter) ultimately end in a dissection of stuff: How much stuff do you have? How much stuff do you need? And how much stuff are you willing to live without?
Would storage for that extra stuff cost almost as much as the gap in your rent? Would you have to buy less common-area stuff if you had a roommate? Would you stay sane without your record collection? Could you stand to live with your roommate’s Harry Potter memorabilia? Does IKEA have a storage contraption that could accommodate you?
Be thorough in your research of both your stuff and your options, and be sure you know your potential roommate’s stuff status as well.
Relationship
Becoming roommates changes your relationship. It may get better; it may get worse. But you should enter roommate considerations knowing that whatever relationship you start with – strangers, acquaintances, friends, significant others – will inevitably alter. Some people can cope with a friend’s habits in order to have constant camaraderie. Others are more comfortable expressing frustrations to strangers rather than friends and will thus sacrifice familiarity for frankness.
Be honest about where you fit on that scale and decide if you are comfortable with a change in your routine with your potential roommate. And if you decide to live with someone…
Communication
Clichéd as it is, communication is key. So find that “Freshman Dorm Guidebook” in your parents’ attic and follow the sample roommate contract. Candidly discuss habits, pet peeves, schedules and preferences with your roommate. Don’t shy away from topics, because they WILL arise later. Once you’ve agreed on the conditions, sign it. Then hold each other, and yourself, to it.